There's a visceral signal that arrives before conscious thought—a tension in your chest, a shift in the atmosphere, an internal alarm that says "pay attention." Most women recognize this feeling, particularly in vulnerable situations like being alone with a stranger in an Uber.
Let's explore that instinct women carry, the one we're often socialized to dismiss, and why learning to trust it matters.
The Woman Who Acted on Her Instinct Early
A colleague shared her story about a late-night ride home from work. The driver kept looking at her in the rearview mirror—not casually, but with an assessing quality that triggered immediate discomfort. Nothing overtly threatening had occurred, but something in her body said "this isn't right."
She didn't wait to gather more evidence. She opened the app, changed her destination to a nearby gas station with visible activity, and calmly said, "Can you drop me here instead?" She exited, requested a different ride, and made it home safely.
Later, she admitted feeling almost foolish for reacting so quickly. But that "overreaction" may have prevented something far worse.
We rarely acknowledge the power of trusting our instincts in time.
The Woman Who Ignored the Warning Signs
Then there's the harder story—the kind shared more quietly. A woman ignored escalating discomfort because she didn't want to appear rude. The driver asked increasingly personal questions that built a cumulative sense of unease. She smiled politely. She gave vague answers. She told herself she was overreacting.
By the time she recognized she needed to leave immediately, the situation had already escalated. What happened was not her fault. She did what many women do: prioritized social courtesy over self-protection. She later said, "I knew something was wrong. I just didn't want to cause a scene."
This is heartbreaking because it's painfully common.
Why Women Second-Guess Their Instincts
Women are conditioned toward accommodation and agreeableness. We're taught not to make situations awkward for others. This conditioning surfaces precisely when our safety requires immediate action.
The internal dialogue becomes:
But instinct isn't drama. It's data processing. Your brain has detected patterns, inconsistencies, or micro-expressions that your conscious mind hasn't yet articulated.
Trust that processing.
Subtle Warning Signs Survivors Often Recall
When women reflect on concerning Uber rides, they frequently mention similar details:
These aren't random occurrences. They're signals. You don't need to wait for something obviously dangerous before taking action.
Permission to Act Without Perfect Justification
You are allowed to:
You owe no one an explanation for protecting yourself. Not the driver. Not Uber. Not anyone who might later question your judgment.
Your safety always takes precedence over social comfort.
Practical Steps When Your Instinct Activates
In the moment:
After exiting safely:
When Prevention Isn't Enough
Sometimes the warning comes too late. Sometimes situations escalate faster than anyone can respond. If you've experienced assault or harassment during a rideshare trip, what happened was not your fault. Your response—whatever it was—was your brain's best attempt at survival in an impossible situation.
If you're in New Jersey and navigating the aftermath of such an experience, legal support is available. Attorneys who specialize in New Jersey rideshare assault cases can help you understand your options. Reaching out is simply gathering information. There's no pressure or commitment.
Your Instinct Is a Survival Tool, Not an Inconvenience
Women's instincts have been honed by countless experiences of navigating spaces that don't always feel safe. When that quiet internal voice speaks, it's drawing on pattern recognition, threat assessment, and survival intelligence.
Listen to it. Even when you can't immediately articulate why.
Even when you worry you might be wrong.
The cost of occasionally being "overly cautious" is infinitely smaller than the cost of ignoring a legitimate warning.
