During the beginning stages of a separation or divorce, every parent wants to remain civil with their ex for the sake of their children. While the marriage or relationship has ended, this does not mean an end of a co-parental relationship or family dynamic. No parent wants the divorce process to be a point of pain for their children, and many try to make this transition as smooth as possible. However, as with any emotional, high-stress situation, it can be difficult to remain cool-headed through conflict. Anthony Macri, Canada attorney and family lawyer understands the challenges and contention often associated with making decisions for children and parenting time and hopes to help those currently navigating the family courts avoid any mistakes that could cost them their desired level of custody.
Child Manipulation
While it is quite common for couples going through a divorce to dislike one another, they should never let their conflicts impact their child’s relationship with each parent. If one parent attempts to negatively affect their child’s relationship with their other parent by sharing negative and inappropriate information, it is called child manipulation. Some experts believe that the simple act of damaging a child’s relationship with a parent is child abuse. These parents who try to manipulate their child by sharing information that paints the co-parent in a poor light, such as the parent’s personal relationships or financial competency, will likely see repercussions in the courtroom. As this has been shown to create long-lasting damage to a child’s psyche, any evidence of child manipulation can persuade a family court judge to eliminate any contact that the alienating parent has with the child and give full custody to their co-parent.
Some examples of child manipulation include:
- Involving the child in adult conflict and telling the child what the other parent did “wrong”
- Not providing a co-parent with updates regarding their child’s life, appointments, grades, etc.
- The child has been instructed on what to say to their parent. These conversations will often be highly aggressive and sound forced.
- Disrupting the other parent’s visits by frequently texting or calling the child.
Social Media Posts
Today, nearly 80% of Americans, 247 million people, have at least one profile on a social media platform. As social media continues to become a more significant part of our lives, it can be difficult not to use our social media platforms to discuss our personal lives in great detail. Whether it be looking for sympathy from friends or asking advice from relatives, many Americans use social media as a way to share with loved ones, or anyone really, their current challenges and daily struggles. When going through a tumultuous divorce, this feeling of wanting to connect and share with others can grow significantly, especially as family and friends begin to pick sides. However, Anthony Macri stresses the importance of remaining civil on social media, as anything that is posted online can be used as evidence in family court.
If possible, Canada attorney Anthony Macri encourages individuals to go radio silent on social media and, if this proves to be too great a hardship, to refrain from publicly disparaging their ex or discussing any aspect of custody. Similar to sharing negative details about an ex with children, divorce courts frown upon disparaging social media posts and can use this as evidence of child manipulation in family court. If an individual has posted anything negative regarding their ex or children in the past, it is crucial that they do not remove it from their feed. This will often be seen as an admission of guilt in the courts and further the ex-spouse’s case. In the event that these post are used against the poster in court, Anthony Macri recommends admitting your intentions to the judge, who will likely appreciate the honesty and candor.
Moving After an Action has Started
Whether or not the court has awarded a parent decision-making rights, that parent must give adequate notice to their ex-partner before moving within or outside their current school district. If the primary parent intends to move outside the school district, the non-primary parent will only need notice. However, if the move is to an area outside the school district, the non-primary parent can potentially prevent the move if a judge agrees that they were not given adequate notice. If sufficient notice has not been given and the non-primary parent objects to the move, the judge may rule that the full custody parent must move back or risk the non-primary parent taking on full custody.
Not Recognizing the Importance of Precedent
Very few parents spend an equal amount of time with their children. Whether one parent works full-time outside of the home or travels for work, it is far more common for one person to parent the children 75% of the time while the other parents 25% of the time. Whatever amount of time a parent spent with their child before their separation is called precedent. In the event of a custody battle, a judicial officer will determine what level each parent has historically helped out with their child and use this to determine potential custody. However, Canada attorney Anthony Macri stresses that the officer will also take into account the level of involvement after separation. If someone has parented 25% of the time both before and after separation, they will likely not be given 50/50 split custody, as they have not set a good precedent and demonstrated their ability to parent for that duration of time. However, if that same parent began parenting 50% of the time after separation, they would be setting a good precedent and will likely be able to continue parenting 50% of the time moving forward.
